FAQs: Bridesmaids (+ Popping The Question Ideas)

1:06 PM, by Unknown

Here’s a rundown of some of the most frequently asked questions regarding your bridal party, Maid of Honor, and how to pop the big question to your girls!

1. What’s the difference between a Maid-of-Honor and a Matron-of-Honor? Can I have both?

They’re simply different titles, like Mrs. and Miss. A Maid-of-Honor is unmarried; a Matron-of-Honor is married. If you’d like, you can absolutely have both! Split the duties between the two according to personality and schedule. For example, perhaps your married sister is the perfect choice for hosting your bridal shower, while your unmarried sorority sister from college will throw the sickest bachelorette party Vegas has ever seen. Or have your introverted best friend stand next to you while you say your vows, and your hilarious, outgoing sister give the toast.  They’ll be thankful for the chance to share the duties!

2. One of my closest friends from college asked me to be her bridesmaid. I feel obligated to ask her to be in my wedding party now. Help!

Short of extreme situations, most of your girlfriends should be understanding of this. Your bridal party may be limited to just one or two people. Perhaps it’s very large, but it’s filled with your two sisters, three first cousins, and five women from your fiancee’s side. Either way, it’s just that—your bridal party! Fill it with women who’ve influenced and shaped you, and played a significant role in your arrival at this big moment.

That being said, if an old friend asked you to be her bestie M.o.H. and you don’t even plan to make her a bridesmaid, set up a girl’s lunch. Gently explain that while she is a pivotal, irreplaceable part of your big day, there are reasons your bridal party slots are occupied. Give her a chance to read a special poem or scripture during the ceremony, or assist with hosting a morning-after brunch. Slide in an invite to the bachelorette party, and all should end well.

3. Wait…What about Friends vs. Family?

Do you remember your best friend from 6th grade? If you’re still friends with her—lucky you! But chances are that you aren’t. Friends have a way waltzing beautifully in and out of our lives as lifestyles, hometowns and our goals and obligations change. Family is forever, and that wedding will only last one day. Keep in mind that you’re planning to be married for a very long time…and that awkward silence at a family reunion is the stuff nightmares are made of.

4. How much is TOO MUCH to ask my bridesmaids to spend on dresses and accessories?

Those communication skills you honed in pre-marital counseling? Time to use ‘em.

If you plan to ask your maids to don serious designer duds, communicate that before asking them to be a bridesmaid. There’s nothing wrong with giving your party the dates, obligations, details and estimated costs up front. In a perfect world, we’d say yes to every bridal party invitation because love would foot the bill. However, if a friend or family member truly can’t afford the Jimmy Choos, BCBG dress, or that trip to Ireland, remember that love can never be measured with dollar bills!

My best friend is a guy! Can I still have him in my wedding?

Yes, but first you need to have a serious conversation with The Man Who Gave You the Ring. Is he comfortable with it? Where are the limits? For example, will your man-friend be invited to the bachelorette outings as well? There are enough puddles to jump leading up to the big day; jealousy or weirdness should not be one of them! On that note, I highly suggest that he skip the lingerie shower, and that he is not present with the other bridesmaids to help zip you into your dress. Highly. Suggest.

Some of my favorite ways to ask, courtesy of Pinterest. 

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